Artemis and Zatanna are Not the Problem
by TheWickedWizardOfOz
Summary: In which Wally and Dick try to conceal their relationship by dating Artemis and Zatanna. In which Artemis and Zatanna try to conceal their relationship by dating Wally and Robin. In which both parties find out, and an agreement is reached. Of course, what good plan can 4 hormonal teenagers come up with? KF/Rob Artemis/Zatanna crackfic


For the time being, I've replaced my profile with a rather long Author's Note, and it'd mean a lot to me if at least some of you read all of it, or even some of it, as it is even longer than some of the fics I currently have posted.

I would like to apologise for being back for nearly a week now and not uploading anything, and I'd like to apologise even more for updating neither Doctor Fake or The Life and Times of Dick Grayson, but this idea actually popped into my head when re-watching Auld Acquaintance, and I wanted to ask some people to read my A/N, which I can't do if it's in a later chapter of a fic.

Also, I was re-reading the guidelines for posting these fics...and second person stories are apparently not allowed. ...wut? I have like 2 of them up right now, but no one's ever said anything about reporting the fics... The thing I don't get is why second person story fics aren't allowed though...

Warning: Slash

Artemis and Zatanna Are Not a Problem

"I should've done this a long time ago," Kid Flash said, scooping up Artemis into his arms, bridal style.

"You should've," she replied happily, as they both sunk into the kiss.

Robin, the Boy Wonder, felt something hot and prickly fall from the top of his skull down to the tips of his toes, as he murderously watched his best friend kiss _her_.

He was even more surprised when Zatanna murmured something before pulling him into a kiss as well; feeling rebellious, he wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened their kiss, making sure Kid Flash could see.

* * *

"I can't believe you did that!" Wally growled, his cowl off; it was 3 AM in the morning, and they both had snuck away from their respective crushees.

Dick Grayson, in the first time since the making of the Team had taken off his domino mask in the Cave, to glare back at Wally, "Gee, I wonder what would've prompted me to do what I did!"

"We _both_ agreed that I was the one to have a girlfriend, _Rob_," Wally said, his eyes burning with anger.

"Talking about it, and actually seeing it happen are two different things, _KF_; I was in so much pain seeing you simply pick her up. Hearing the two of you, seeing the two of you, knowing it was tangible. It was- I felt...," Dick replied, his forehead rested against the closest wall, "And, I wasn't the one who initiated the kiss."

Wally began pacing, before he stopped, "Maybe it was stupid of us to even think about tricking everyone." He ran his fingers through his fiery hair.

Dick sighed heavily, he intertwined their bare fingers together, "Yeah, it was stupid, but we're kids, aren't we allowed to make mistakes?" Something warm and fuzzy began bubbling up from their stomachs, both of them grinned as they knew what would happen next: Dick stood on his tip-toes, Wally leaned down, and they kissed.

"I just..."

Dick placed his face on the front of Wally's costume, inadvertently changing it into stealth mode, not that either noticed, "I know..."

"You know, if you didn't want to, you didn't have to." A third voice rang in the hallway -_ Artemis_. Dick hastily covered up his face with the domino mask in his free hand, lucky his face was still in Wally's chest.

Zatanna too stepped out from her room, "Yeah, we knew there was something going on with the two of you anyways."

Wally and Dick stared at each other baffled.

"How? Why-?"

"Why else do you think, Kid Dork?" Artemis asked as she walked over to Zatanna and intertwined her fingers with Zatanna's.

"I think we've reached something _very_ interesting," Robin said, mischief very obvious in his voice.

* * *

Wally sat on the couch, his arm around Artemis, "her body feels so _weird_," Dick mumbled, playing with her (or Robin's?) long hair, for it was everywhere.

"Your body's no walk in the park either," Artemis replied, her (or was it Robin's?) fingers intertwined with Zatanna's, "I feel so short.."

"Not so loud you guys! Some people have super hearing, others are telepathic, and some people just _knows_ things," Wally harshly whispered.

Robin (or was it Artemis now?) punched Wally with the free hand that wasn't attached to Zatanna's fingers.

"Next time, the two of you are switching bodies," Artemis (or Robin?) said, with Robin (or was it Artemis?) nodding fervently.

"Ugh, but it feels so wrong... normally I feel so pleasant just sitting next to Wally, but now I feel kind of grossed out..." Robin in Artemis' body said.

"Sorry about that, I was able to switch your consciouses, but I guess I haven't transferred your minds," Zatanna replied sadly.

Wally was smiling however, "Well, at least we now know for sure that Artemis and I never had a chance!"

Artemis in Robin's body smirked, "Yeah, you never had a chance."

"But don't you think it's a little awkward holding Robin's hand, but knowing that it's actually Artemis'?" Zatanna inquired.

Wally's head fell, "Yeah, it's a little weird," however, he picked up his head, "but if it's what we have to do to keep up the ruse, I'll live with it; I didn't fall in love with Robin because of his body, I fell in love with him, for him."

Robin, Artemis, and Zatanna all "Awwww'd" with Robin in Artemis' body, leaning up to kiss Wally's cheek.

However, he made a weird face, pushing away Artemis' body, "Oh dude, that was wretched."

"I'm. Right. Here." Artemis in Robin's body growled out.

"Yeah, and Robin has more muscles than you," Zatanna gasped out, attempting to pull her hand out of Artemis' death-grip.

Artemis in Robin's body gasped and quickly let go, petting Zatanna's hair, "S-sorry, are you okay?"

Zatanna shook her head, her whole body shivering, "His fingers aren't like yours, it's weird..."

"Zatanna, switch us back," Robin in Artemis' body said sadly, "This isn't going to work; even if you perfect switching our minds, the ones who aren't switched will still feel weird."

Zatanna, Wally, and Artemis all agreed, "esreveR eht lleps I decalp no simetrA dna niboR!"

There was a bright flash of light.

"...why do I still feel...weird?" Robin's voiced asked.

Wally poked him, "You're not the only one..." though, it was Zatanna's voice that came out of Wally's body.

"Well, at least I'm normal," Artemis pointed out.

"Wait! Does this mean I have to make out with my own body?" Robin in Zatanna's body asked, her (er...his?) arms flailing wildly, as if to prove his point.

Artemis attempted to, and failed in stifling a giggle, watching Zatanna's body flail, while Robin's voice came out of it.

"I never noticed this, but I'm _hot_," Wally's voice said, Robin's body staring at Wally's.

Robin's voice broke Wally out of his trance, "Sorry, Walls, that's just my body being a love-struck idiot."

"Well," Zatanna said, "At least I get to make-out with Artemis."

Artemis cocked an eyebrow, "Sorry, Zee, by I'm not mackin' his body, whether or not you're in it."

Wally's body pouted and crossed his arms, "I'll try reversing the spell now. ecalP yllaW tseW, niboR, dna flesym otni ruo reporp siedob!"

"..."

"Nothing happened," Wally's voice noted.

"Uh...I think the spell is still incomplete. And I feel this weird energy flowing through me..." Robin said, Zatanna's hands feeling the air.

Wally's hand slapped his face, "of course! I can still only transfer our consciousness, but not our minds, our abilities! ...it explains why I feel so fuzzy around Robin."

"That and you're vibrating," Wally said.

"...so that means that _I_ have to learn how to reverse this spell?" the Boy Wonder asked.

The other three teens exchanged glances, "yeah." Zatanna blew a lock of hair out of her face.

* * *

How confusing was that? xD Anyways, I'll say this is complete, and allow your imaginations to decide whether or not they get out of the mess ;P

Review? If you read my profile before this, you'd know for crack/silly fics I'm okay with smaller reviews, because there isn't much to denote, but I still appreciate the longer reviews, if you can find something to talk about LOL

By the way I specified that Artemis calls Zatanna "Zee" because I pronounce "Z" as "Zed," so if I had just put "Z" to me it'd sound like Artemis was saying "Zed" when she's actually going to say "Zee" because she's an American.

If you got really confused, just read what's in the brackets, if there are any. The brackets are there to correct the point of view :D

WAIT. I just realised that Artemis and Zatanna actually turned out to be the problem anyways LOL I had originally intended this to be a fic where Dick and Wally pranced off into the sunset leaving behind to broken hearted Artemis and Zatanna, but I haven't written crack in like ever, so whatever XD

Also, the answer to my question in "Never" was Snow Fairy, by Funkist, if you get the chance, you should listen to it, it's amazing.

And the answer to my question in "Yield" was that in less than 35 fics, I've posted at least one fic that begins with every letter of the alphabet, as well as one fic to represent numbers, I also have a fic in every rating (exempt: MA, but those are supposed to be banned anyways), and I've a bunch of different pairings as well, Protégé/Mentor, Hero/Villain, and every male slash pairing that includes the Team and Roy.


End file.
